Originally Published 7/22/2009 I have spent less time with my little man, 2 ½ years old, in the last three weeks that every in his life. Short of a two hour break, I have spent 10 minutes a day with him. I have given him all of the time and love in the world up until now so I think all things considered he is doing well. Not easy though. We had our summer vacation planned. My husband took our older boys, twin 10-year olds, on the trip to NJ shores and upstate NY with him and I stayed behind with my little guy. The twins are my step-sons and I have been in their lives since they were three. So not easy for the little guy. Dad and brothers are gone and mom is too busy for words. We have an amazing community that has been a tremendous support. My mom and sister live next door as do dear friends that I consider my extended family. Still, my boy is not as happy and easy as he usually is. He keeps saying mommy is working. “maman kar daream”. “maman biya maman besheen.” “Mom come mom sit.” He has gotten so used to me leaving him that he just turns to me and says goodnight without really trying to make me put him to sleep. The other day I said, who loves you and he said no. Aye. The other night, I was talking him in and I saw a hair in his mouth. I tried to pull it out. Too late. It was so worried that my little guy has a hair in his throat. I am very aware of the sadness I feel for not spending time with him or when he is hurt or in pain. I just try to imagine what the mothers in Iran are going through now— children disappeared, raped, tortured and/or killed. Just cannot imagine. Simply cannot. I talk to my son and tell him about my important work and that one day I will explain it all to him. That I love him and he means the world to me. I have drawn bunch of squares on a piece of paper and each day I cross out one. I think he gets it. Tomorrow, he will have only 3 boxes left. This compromise is the least I can do for the mothers in Iran. It is my honor.
